Relationships

Sorry- I forgot to post this last night. 

1. Think of three relationships that you wish were at the significant stage, but currently are not there. For each relationship you want to improve write one goal about how you will improve that relationship. Make sure the goals are specific. Each goal should include what relationship you want to improve and a specific action you want to take to improve that relationship.

One relationship that is not in the significant stage but I would like it to be is my relationship with me and one of my best friends from home. She was a childhood best friend but we have gone our separate ways over the years. At one time we were in the significant stage but we are not there anymore. My goal is going to be text her at least once a week for the next couple of months to try and bring back closeness. 

Another relationship I would like to get in the significant stage is my relationship with is my relationship with my cousin. We have been best friends since childhood and now I am at BYU and I have the chance to really get close and integrate our lives together. I would like to get better at that. My goal is going to be to have her over to my apartment more. 

The third relationship I would like to move into the significant stage is my relationship with my younger sister. She is only 12 and it has been hard to stay super close when we are living apart. Obviously our relationship is significant because we are family but I want to get to an even better place. My goal for this relationship is to spend quality one on one time with her when I am home over winter break. 
2. What can you do to remind yourself to achieve the goals you made in question 1?

To remind myself of the goals I set in question one is to write them down and put them somewhere I will see everyday. I need to remind myself of what I want the end result of my actions to be so I am motivated in the process. A relationship cannot become significant overnight and it might have to go through a couple of stages before it becomes truly significant. I need to remind myself that it is a process and any improvement is a good improvement.

3. Tom Holmoe shared many different ideas about developing relationships. Share one of your favorite ideas from his lecture. Why did you like this?

One of my favorite ideas Tom Holmoe shared in his lecture was the idea of being a fire-lighter in the people you come into contact with and to surround yourself with people that are fire lighters. I found this really interesting because at first I thought it was a no brainer to surround yourself with people that build you up but then I thought about all of the people I come into contact with and I realize I allow myself at times to be surrounded by fire fighters. They do not blatantly and obviously tear each other down, but they do not inspire the best in each other. Sometimes this is funny and we enjoy laughing and mocking each other but surrounding myself with these people is not going to build me up in the long run. I should try and bring a fire lighter attitude to the group. 

Public Speaking

   One area discussed in lecture that stood out as an area of my public speaking I could improve is using power point effectively. I often either do not use or follow it at all or I include all my information on the powerpoint and end up reading off of it. I need to learn to use power point to benefit and add to my presentation but not to over use it to the point that my power point becomes my presentation. Some of his tips about using black slides to draw the attention back to you seem very useful in certain types of presentations.
   Another area he discussed that I thought I could improve in is setting a comfortable or open stance when I am giving presentations. Often when I am nervous in presenting I feel I hid behind a podium or have a closed off stance as a side effect of my nerves. Using proper gesturing and coming back to neutral stance is something I could improve on. I think that is an area I have to practice to make it come naturally. I need to start incorporating more gesturing in my speaking to become a more dynamic public speaker.
   The last area I think that I could improve upon in my speaking is including different types of examples and facts into my speech to grab different parts of the audience. I found it super interesting when he asked what aspects (story, example, fact etc) grabbed peoples attention the most and everyone appealed to something else. I had always assumed that since I loved it when people incorporated stories into their speeches that other people would like that best too.  It is a great strategy to appeal to a wider audience by including many different tactics in your speaking.

Leadership in the Community

1. What are some communities that you can be a leader in? 
There are many communities I can be a leader in. One of them is the church community. In the church community I can lead in my calling, as well as be charitable in church service opportunity. Also helping to become unified and a family is also a way I can lead in my ward. Another way I can be a leader is in the BYU community. By volunteering and getting others involved with service and events at BYU. I can also continue to keep my involvement in my home community of Portland Oregon by continuing to stay involved in the organizations I was apart of when I am home on breaks. These include working at the homeless shelter and food bank over the holidays. I can be a leader and a force for good in my apartment, family, and friends. 
2. How can you become involved in a way that is reasonable considering you time?
In college there a million opportunities to get involved but also a million other things pulling your time in all different directions. It is important to remember that you do not have to volunteer 20 hours a week to be involved. By picking an organization to spend a small amount of time with consistently is a great way to get involved. I believe that the most good if you only have a small amount of time consistently volunteering with one organization.   Picking an organization that you are passionate about working with is important  When you do not have enough time to do everything you want to you need to prioritize what you are involved in.  
3. You don’t need a title to lead. Great leaders are already doing so. Where else can you be a leader? 
I can be a leader in many opportunities in my life. One of the ways I need to improve on being a leader is in my siblings. I have a younger sister and i need to be a better example of what I would like her to grow up to be in all aspects of my life. Sometimes I view having such a younger sibling to be an example for as a job less that the opportunity to do good. Also I can sometimes be too bossy in my apartment. Instead of telling people what to do I should be an example of the kind of roommate I want to have by cleaning up after myself and being more considerate to others. 

Ethical Leadership

Personal Code of Ethics 

 Attitude: 

Always have a positive attitude. Look for the best in all people and situations. Uplift others by being kind, caring and a good friend. Remember that attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching. My attitude should be one of caring and humility. Be an approachable person and a good, loyal friend.

Compassion:  

Always strive to be compassionate and caring to those in need. Remember that there are stories behind everyone's actions. Do not judge others, accept others and be kind to everyone. Do not hold grudges. Forgive easily and quickly.

Courage: 

 Always have the courage to do what is right regardless of the monetary or worldly consequences. Do not base your choices on what others think is right or acceptable, do what is truly right in the eyes of the perfect example of ethical behavior, Christ.

Excellence: 

Strive to do my best in everything I do. Never put so much on my plate that my quality to work goes down. Never accept anything less than my best. Avoid procrastination and over involving myself, things that could effect my ability to perform tasks with excellence. Be responsible and follow through with commitments.

Integrity:

Remember that no matter what, God is always watching your actions. Make choices that would make Him proud. Be honest in your dealings with others and your dealings with the Lord.

Motivation

1. Describe your motivation in each of these areas: school, personal goals, social, and family.
In school my motivation is in my goals. I know I want to go to law school and I know the tier of law school I would like to get into therefore I know the level of work I need to put it. I have realistic goals that I am passionate about and the thought of achieving them keeps me motivated.In my personal goals such as eating healthier or working out more etc. I set goals and use rewards. I can't eat sweets if I didn't go to the gym that day and other things like that. I also write down my progress. In the social category I do the things that make me happy and I have fun doing. My motivation in in the social area is to have fun and meet people I enjoy being around. Therefore I put my best self out there in hopes I will meet the kind of people I want to meet. In my family I set goals that are going to make me happy, therefore I stay motivate because the things that I am working for make me happy. I also find happiness in the journey. Just because a family goal of mine is to get married, does not mean that I will not be happy until that happens. I am happy in the steps I am taking to achieve that goal and in being happy with the family I have now.
2. How can you motivate others as a leader in the following areas: school, work, family, or social?
In school I think I can motivate others by sharing organizational tips and emphasize to them that being motivated in school comes from setting goals and working towards a future you are passionate about. In work I think motivation comes from doing something you are passionate about. More than being motivated by money I think people are motivated by doing something they care about. In my family we motivate each other by reminding each other of out eternal goal to be together for eternity in the celestial kingdom. Every action we take is striving for that goal. In social goals I can motivate others by being friendly and social and showing that to meet the kind of people you want to meet you have to be the person you want to be.
3. Explain the motivation style of your assigned leader for Monday's lab.
The person I had for Monday's lab was Hillary Clinton. Hillary Clinton is the current  Secretary of State and the former State Senator of the state of New York. Her motivation style is that she is very at peace with the idea that people either love or hate her. She is strong in her beliefs and motivates her followers by being consistent and striving for more power. She is a strong women who has lots of female followers, she motivates them by being a strong feminist example and showing that a women can plays a mans political game.

Conflict

1.) Pick a church leader and research what he/ she has said about conflict resolution. Below share at least two of your favorite findings. 
Gorden B. Hinkley gave a talk titled "The Need for Greater Kindness" in his talk the first thing he shared regarding resolving conflict in this talk is the need for forgiveness. He reminded us that it is the lords place to judge and we are to merely forgive and forget. He then he went to talk about conflict within the church and how many people are hung up on conflict within the church and out of that I got two things - 1 conflict within the church should not change what you believe and if you put your testimony first than conflict should not effect it. And secondly there is so much good being done in this church and this world and we should not get caught up in the negativity but in the good.  
2.) What is the difference between destructive conflict and constructive conflict?
Destructive conflict  is when nothing gets resolved in the conflict and the two sides walk away more conflicted than before the conflict happened. This results from people not going into the conflict with the right attitude and they fight only for their side. A constructive conflict is where both sides learn something and they resolve the conflict in a way that best fits the needs of the group.Both sides walk away from the conflict satisfied and with new knowledge and insight and with a feeling on closure that the conflict is resolved in a healthy manner. 
3.) Do you currently embrace good conflict or evade it? Analyze your current way of managing conflict and find two ares of improvement.
I embrace good conflict. I am of the attitude that everyone is happier if everything is out in the open and I would always rather have things said to my face than held in or said behind my back. Therefore in things such as family and with my roommates I am sure to facilitate good conflict. I though am not perfect and sometimes conflict does not come out as constructive as I would like it. I come from a family of debaters and competitive people. Therefore we all sacrifice nothing and like to come out a winner. I need to have a better attitude when going into conflict to facilitate a compromise where both sides are happy with the outcome instead of taking pleasure in the fact that I "won" the conflict. In conflict you do not win unless the conflict is permanently resolved. And when there is a winner and a loser conflict is bound to happen again. 

Communication

1.) Why is communicating powerfully and prolifically a crucial part of leadership?

A big part of leadership is sharing your message with those you lead. Without communicating powerfully and prolifically you are not expressing your message clearly. You need to communicate the message you want to the world to know clearly. It is important to have one message that everyone knows. Mis-communication is an issue because people will not see an uniform message coming from those you lead. For example, everyone from the administration, to the professors and the students everyone knows the message of BYU. That way the public perception of the university has a higher chance of being what the university wanted it to be. 
2.) Throughout your life you will serve in various leadership roles everywhere from family roles to work roles to church roles. Everyday you communicate what you believe to those around you through your words and your actions. Todd and Joe expressed how important it is that your messages are rooted in what you believe. In the future, how can you make sure what you communicate is rooted in your beliefs?
Something that I learned from my parents is that the most important message we communicate is the message of the gospel and that everything we do needs to be rooted in that message. The way we conduct ourselves in all we do needs to reflect our beliefs. In the work place that means being fair, honest and Christlike to those we work with. We should not get involved in work practices that are not inline with what we believe. An important thing to do is make the your beliefs the center of your family and home. For children it is important to see that their parents center their lives on the gospel that way they grow up knowing the real message their parents want to communicate. I think that if you center your life around your beliefs the message you communicate will be rooted in your beliefs.
3.) Todd and Joe gave us some great hints to help leaders communicate powerfully and prolifically. Develop a step-by-step process that you can follow in order to communicate your desired message to those you lead?

The first step to communicating your desired message to others is to plan and know the message you want to share with others. Without a well thought through message your message can be criticized and misread. You want to make sure your message is well thought out. Then you want to share your exact message with those you lead. To make sure everyone is on the same page is a crucial aspect. Next you want to find a way to always share your message. Todd and Joe said to answer peoples question but answer it with what you want to say. Make sure your message gets out there as much as possible.